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I am VAIN!

I build a wall around me... I don't let anyone in. I let you see what I want you to see. I hide my pain well. My physical pain, my emotions, my tears... I express my inner being in my art. That's who I am. I'm not strong. I'm weak. I weep. I wipe it off and give you a smile... You'll see a happy me. Those tears are not for you, they are for me. I fall all the time and I get up before you realize I fell. Cause I'm vain. Where's my mascara?


I am VAIN!

I am decisive. I believe in myself. I trust my instincts. I have compassion. I have empathy. I love myself before I love anyone else. I love my family. I love my friends. I care deeply but I don't care at all. I am beautiful inside even when I'm overwhelmed with pain. My beauty inside sometimes show outside or it hides behind a vail of disguise. I check myself out on the mirror --- to see who looks back at me.


I am VAIN!

What am I to you?  Do you think I am beautiful?
Do you think I am sexy?  Do you know who I really am?  When I talk to you, do you think you are talking to me?  Or to one of my many reflections on the mirror. 
Don’t fall in love with me…
I don’t think you know who I really am.


I am VAIN!

Someone recently told me that I don’t understand intimacy. 
IN TO ME YOU SEE
Do you see me?  Which one of us do you see? 
The one I let you see…  the beautiful being that isn’t.


I am VAIN!

I am proud.  I worked hard to be this proud.
I was broken.  I worked hard to get fixed.
I am shallow.  I worked hard to be not so deep.
I am conceited.  I worked hard to not be humble.
I am beautiful.  I worked hard to convince you of that.



Jhoiey Ramirez

[New York, New York], June 20, 2016​­ John Allan’s Downtown is proud to announce ​Vanity: What does it mean to me? ​a new exhibit with artist Jhoiey Ramirez, June 27 to August 22, 2016. The work on paper and mixed media using everyday cosmetics and beauty products explore the artist’s questioning of her personal vanity, body image, and her reflection on aging in an honest confession of her desire to define her own meaning. Although the show is a personal dialogue, it reflects for many a woman’s early life’s quest to achieve a standard of beauty that is an illusion. 


If you are interested in purchasing any of the pieces in this series, visit our ONLINE STORE. Pick up or shipping arrangements will be made after the show closes late August. If you want to attend the closing show in NYC, send us an               .



I am VAIN!

I seesaw on my weight for the longest time... After my spine surgery and temporary state of paralysis... All my muscles were a mush. I looked horrible naked... I couldn't stand to be in a bathing suit. Instead of patiently exercising my muscles again... I succumb to liposuction. Worst decision ever... I now have an uneven belly. Before when I lose weight, it evenly goes down and when I gain, it evenly puffs... NOW, it's a wave of unevenness. I fucking hate it! I contemplated getting a tummy tuck... But I found a new love towards myself... I found yoga. I now accept whatever imperfection I have. Vanity is loving one's self despite its imperfections.


Commentary #1-8 --- VANITY... What does it mean to me?

I am VAIN!

I am getting old. I feel old. I look at the mirror... My reflection, it tells me otherwise. At least sometimes. Or is that what I want to believe. I've lost half of my hair from when I was an adolescent. I watch it go down the drain. I have to save it! Can't let it go. I felt a coin size smooth patch on my head after a spa session... Alopecia? Why? My long locks... Must preserve it. My youth. My crowning glory... Is this all that has become of me. My past is my future... No one to take on what I work hard for. Just me, myself and I... Must I be vain?....



I am VAIN!

I have this vision of what I look like... And I look at a mirror and it's not what see. I buy make-up and try to make my face a blank canvas and paint what I imagine... No --- not happening. Fail. Make up bought stay withering away in a box. But somehow lately... I feel that I've manifested what I imagine to look like to actually be what people perceive of me... Confidence obscure reality... I seldom look at the mirror any more... They lie!

vanity series, 2016

new! currently showing at John allan's in Downtown NYC